Update Overdue

I'm taking a bit of a break from Facebook & hoping to rekindle some of my former loves...

Journaling Through Our Blog!

Throughout 2013, we experienced a lot of change.  A lot of upheavals in the inner workings of our home through foster care.  We brought in & out 5 foster children.  We learned a lot through the process.  We have cried a lot through the process.  And laughed.  And loved.  And hurt.

We did renew our foster license, but haven't received any placement calls/requests since our last foster child went to her adoptive home right before Christmas.  Although I'm not sure we would accept a placement right now, I still feel a little eager knowing they could call anytime.  It would be hard to say "no", but hard to say "yes", too.  Hmm... Does that make sense?

We have defined our strengths & weaknesses regarding foster children during this past year.  I'm sure this will vary placement to placement or even month to month.  We seem to have a difficult time getting placement calls because we request that the children NOT be forced to go to daycare.  As a stay at home mom, we prefer the foster child/ren stay at home with me & little E to facilitate a sense of normalcy as our family unit operates.

This seems to be an issue, because most children seem to be required to be in daycare.  (One aspect of this makes sense: If the child is local to our area & is already established in a daycare facility, it would be best to keep the child in the same daycare to keep at least one aspect stable.  This has not been the case in our placements.)

And, in theory, that is best.  I'm sure it is in reality, also, but can functionally be difficult.

Because we participate in a Classical Conversations community that has completely full childcare, it makes our meeting time more difficult.  One week, towards the end of our semester, I had both our sweet 2mth baby girl (we'll call her TAB) & a short-term placement of a 20mth boy.  I had to take both of them along with little E into the 3hr teaching portion of our coop meeting.  Talk about stressful.  With advanced notice (like months & months), I would've been able to get the toddler into the host church's childcare.  With fostercare, I don't know literally day-to-day sometimes if I will need childcare or not.  With the baby, it is understandable that most moms of teeny littles would take their child into the coop time.  But, again, with planning this is much easier.  The knowledge of a child coming into a family allows better preparation for the arrangements.

I felt like I spent the first semester of little E's "official" home schooling experience just getting used to all of the many home visits & additional appointments TAB required.  Not her fault, certainly, & still worth caring for that sweet girl... But, stressful.  Discouraging.  Overwhelming.

In our normal lives, I like to be able to plan a bit in advance.  This is difficult to do in our experiences thus far with fostercare.  These children still need a loving home, no doubt, but it is definitely an aspect I hadn't been forewarned about or thought about until we were in the mix.  And we have been honored & humbled to care for these children.  We don't regret any of the placements we were given & accepted!!

Like the first foster placement we had of 18mth twins that were court-ordered to attend daycare.  At no time during our MA.PP courses or home study visits was this mentioned as a possibility.  At nearly midnight, when the children were dropped off, that was the only concern the case manager had... For me to get them in daycare.  I was able to find a wonderful facility that was amazing & I would recommend in a heart beat, but driving 300 miles a week solely for daycare was draining!

I could describe our experiences further, but truly... the negative aspects pale in comparison to the impact these children have had on our lives.  I am not sure what fostercare will look like for us this year... Will we go more than half of the year without a placement?  Will we simply help other foster parents by watching their foster children during a hospital stay or trip?  Will we become a permanent home for a foster child waiting?

We just received notice, yesterday, that our adoptive home study has been approved.  This is a different home study than our foster home study, but lots of the same questions & visits.

We've already expressed interested in several sibling groups & a few single children available in the State.  Now that we have our adoptive home study, we send it out, receive information from our agency & the children's agency, & see if we may be a match for each other.  We could have nothing come from any of the cases we emailed about or we could potentially be matched & meet a child in the next few months.

We are both excited & anxious at the thought of adopting.  We've grown to be tender towards the children that are more difficult to place in adoptive homes... older children & sibling groups, specifically.  It is heart wrenching to hear children asking for a home with no more requirements of the family than to "take both of us" or "be loving, be good".  Wow.

We are praying & remaining as open as we can to what the Lord may have in store for us.  Adoption will make our lives messier, more inconvenient, crazier... But, if He wants us doing that, we will.  We will love another's child as our own, we will take them in with open hearts, & trust that His plan is amazing for us & for the child or children.

Our one & only, for now, little E has been amazing.  He's taking workshop classes with his Nana J & has already made a bird house, a name plate, & several car projects.  He loves using his personal, sized-for-little-hands, hand drill, saw, sand paper, scr.ewdriver, hammer, & saw to create things.  He can recite his safety rules & loves going over to spend time "working like Daddy".  He is a sponge full of knowledge & loves going to our CC meetings each Monday; his tutor, Ms. Natalie is like a rock star.  He participates in the classroom recitations & does a presentation (aka speech) each meeting.  But, really, he mostly is looking forward to going to the playground afterwards to play.  :)

As far as goals go for 2014, we are hoping to go camping more.  I'd like to complete a half-marathon (in April).  We will be heading out of town for trips (another perk of home schooling).  I'd like to journal a lot more.  I am ashamed of the things I've already forgot that little E did a year or two ago... I want to write these things down so that I can remember.  And he can.  Other than that, I'd like to enjoy our lives each day.  I want to say yes anytime my child asks me if I can help him or read to him or see the beautiful watercolor creations he made.  I want to invest each day.  Because, even though in foster care, we know we may only impact that child for a day... it is true of our child, too.  Any day could be our last day with him & I want to cherish each day for the miracle it is.  The miracle of a son that we weren't sure we'd ever have.  And God has given us an opportunity to teach him & love him each day we spend together.

Love to you all!

Been a While, Ehh?

Well, obviously it's been a while since I updated. I could describe all of the reasons/excuses why I haven't been updating, but I will just catch ya up on what's been going on.

Firstly, we are in a different stage of "expecting"! This week, our homestudy will be sent to the State for licensure to become foster parents. I'm sure our situation will change over time, but as of right now we are requesting a child under the age of 3. More specifically & initially, an infant under 12mths. We aren't sure exactly where this will lead, but we can no longer deny the calling for us to open our home, our hearts, to a foster child. I could go on & on about how this has developed, but I imagine I will do that later. And I'm sure God will intricately weave an even more beautiful journey than I can imagine.

 {Just to hit some high notes... Yes, I'm anxious about having to give the child back up when family reunification occurs. I have to trust that God is bigger than my fears. I have to trust that there is some sort of purpose for the pain my heart has felt from a 7 year struggle with infertility; I feel that God is using the pain & unending heart-ache for His purpose & He will use this in me as a foster mother. For now, that is all!}

Since I was snapping a picture anyways, I thought I'd take a quick couple of the craft room. I was totally thrilled to be able to purchase this craft table from a friend & it is the center of attention in the craft room! :) There is still plenty I plan to add to this room, but it will be a slow moving process. Which is great, cuz it's always fun to add stuff while you find it!

Here's a corner in the craft room... Filled with Operation Christmas Child shoebox goodies! I've been saving some stuff up all year & our small group will be having a packing party this weekend, so I will update with more about that after it! I'm looking forward to filling them all up & getting them to the church.

We are anticipating to be licensed as early as the middle of November! That is a bit earlier than I expected, so I will be packing a last-minute diaper bag with bottles, a bit of formula, & some gender-neutral outfits in various sizes to accommodate any child we may get called to take in.

We definitely would appreciate your prayers & support as we begin this foster parenting journey!