Table for Five?

For a little over a month, we have had J living with us for the intention of adopting him.

He has one biological siblinrg, K.  We met K yesterday & spent a few hours hanging out with the two kids along with our biological son, E.

Okay, confused yet? :)

More than likely, you are reading this because you know us "IRL" & this serves as the easiest way to update our family & friends.  We haven't tracked the progress of this adoption journey yet, but it has been a complete roller coaster of emotions.

J was so excited to see K.  They've been separated since November 2013 & have seen each other twice since then.  Neither of them care to talk on the phone, so they've not had much contact either.  J hugged K for about 5 minutes while he told her he loved her.  She brought him a gift: a new wallet & two framed photos.  J spent the first 30 minutes or so talking to her about our dogs, our home, our extended family, & so many other things!  We ordered our meal & once the conversation died down, we were able to ask K some questions.  She was very sweet, but very quiet.  She smiled a lot, but it was hard to wonder if she was accepting us or not.  When we gave her the choice of going home or heading to the park, she wanted to go to the park.  So, I interpreted that as meaning she wanted to continue the visit (for J or us, or both even).

Overall, the visit was pleasant.  J remained engaged & active, E was able to speak to K some, & K seemed content.  We found out she usually just watches TV on the weekends because her foster parents do not engage in activities with the children.  During the week, she attends summer camp.  Because we were trying to find out more about her, we asked if she'd ever been to an amusement park.  She said no.  I'm not sure she's been on any family vacations, either.  J has been to Universal Studios once on a school field trip.

I realize amusement parks are a luxury, but... it hurts my heart to know these kids have been in foster homes for nearly 8 years & it seems they've only existed in the foster homes.  No family trips.  No family involvement in the inner workings of WHO these children are.  Just getting by.  No concept of unconditional love.  No grandmas or grandpas.  No cousins to grow up with & form memories.  And, no trips to Disney.  Even the short times we've had foster babies, we've included them in each activity of our lives.

Each step, or obstacle, of this journey has only emphasized to me the need of good, loving, foster homes.  Homes that will love these children, even if they're only in the home for a month.  Even if it hurts more than you can imagine.  Because, each of these children need LOVE.  Need a hug or kiss & someone to be excited about them.  Someone to support them & make them feel worthy of love.  That these children are not an inconvenience or a bother, but the apple of your eye.  There is a serious need for loving parents & siblings.  (I'm not sure how we can squeeze more beds in, but I've already told N that we will need to figure out how to take it at least one more foster kid at a time.)

Back to the current situation...

Both kids wants to be together.  J feels a tremendous amount of pressure to have this work for his sister.  Not pressure placed by anyone but himself.  I think he feels this is his last chance to be adopted & also be adopted with his sister.  It's his way of taking care of his sister.  He has made it clear on several occasions that if this doesn't work with K, he doesn't want to be adopted alone.  We respect that.  And, after seeing their bond in action yesterday, we think they need to be together, too.  We know K wants to be adopted with J, but we do not know how K feels about the visit. I'm sure she's meeting with her therapist to share her perspective & decide what she wants to happen from here.

We have a court hearing in the morning to update the court on our time with J.  Both kids will be there so that their voice is heard.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about either child changing their mind about adoption or if anyone else in attendance could cause issues.  But, at this point, we've done the best we can do.  We have to trust that the outcome of the hearing tomorrow is God's leading.  We hope that we will be awarded adoptive placement dates for both children.

I plan to update once the court hearing is done.

Thanks for your prayers, everyone!